I am not what you would consider to be a "HWP" girl showing her face (and ass) in the swinger scene. I am 5'5" and weigh in at 190 pounds, but I've gained more confidence through the Lifestyle than I've ever had when I weighed a sprightly 140.
I was born into a world that glorified the tall size 2 model types, and I suffered through my middle school years with thick thighs and wide hips that prevented me from ever seeing the inside of a pair of jeans smaller than size 10.
Once I got into high school, I was a bit more curvaceous, but found myself entering into a world of tall, skinny, beautiful girls easily pulling off midriff shirts and miniskirts. The only thing I learned my first day of high school is what a "thigh gap" was.
The little bit of confidence my new curves have me was shot after seeing them. I so badly wanted to be them: I wanted to be a single-digit size and not have to worry about wearing holes in the crotch of my jeans because of thighs that rub together. I wanted to be a super model, but that goal was unrealistic for my body type. These were the years that murdered any shred of self-esteem I had.
Fast forward a few years and I'm happily married to my high school sweetheart. He's wonderful and kind and loving and my best friend in every since of the word. College brought about stress and emotions and fast food and beer, so I found myself heftier than I was when we first started dating as teenagers, but he loves what the weight has done to my body. I adore him for that, but like every wife that lacks confidence in her body, I couldn’t help but nurse that poisonous thought in the back of my mind: he only loves my body because he loves ME. This is far from true (he proves it in the bedroom as much as he possibly can...it's hard to fake an erection!), but I was preoccupied with the irrational thoughts of a woman lacking confidence.
Five years into our marriage, we drunkenly decide to jump into this swinging lifestyle and explore our sexuality (that story is another blog post altogether). One of the first sexual encounters I found myself eager to partake in was with a gorgeous and very fit couple looking for a unicorn, and my husband gave me his blessing to have my first threesome. I met them at a bar and after the pleasantries were over with and we found ourselves sufficiently comfortable and attracted to each other, the husband leans over and whispers in my ear: "We think your ass is magnificent and we’d love to bring you home with us tonight."
I think I was literally in shock for a split second.
Here I was, a thick chick who thought her only real appeal was going to be in her cute face and nerdy exterior (because nerds are cool now, right?), and this couple that could have easily been supermodels loved my ass. MY HUGE ASS!
Once I shook off the surprise, I found myself exuding confidence. We had a wonderful night together, and they loved every inch of me...my soft body, my stretch marks, my cellulite, and my "magnificent" ass. They just confirmed what my husband had always told me: I'm sexy and definitely fuckable. They were tall and slender and she had the thigh gap I always wanted, but I got to enjoy her as myself. She was beautiful and I was beautiful.