It’s not something most men think about, right? You're likely to find a greater percentage of men in the Lifestyle who are more in touch with their sensual side but in the vanilla world it's not too common. I tend to be more sensual than most men, and Mrs. Active has a deep appreciation for this fact. I also hope that any other woman who has experienced my sensual side feels the same way.
There is a distinct and noticeable difference between just having hot sex and having hot sensual sex. Let me break it down from my point of view as a man:
Sexuality is everywhere. It’s in our TV shows, movies, and a multitude of books. It’s even on billboards you see as you take your road trip to meet that hot couple you found on Quiver! You can even see sexuality in mainstream ads these days. Remember the Carl’s Jr add campaign? Pretty hot.
Sex is everywhere because sex is awesome! We’re all interested in exploring our sexuality with others and to open up new realms of sexuality with our spouses. Whether you’re just getting started or you’ve been in the Lifestyle for a while, sex is the hinge on which the Lifestyle door “swings”. It turns up the heat in the relationship between Mrs. Active and me, and we’re told by several other couples that this is also true for them.
But if you want to turn up the heat in an already smoldering furnace, you should strongly consider focusing on the sensual aspects. Sensuality takes the swinging experience to new heights. It’s the difference between watching a movie at home and watching a 3D movie in theaters.
Sensuality is the act of getting in touch with your own feelings in the moment, whether you’re with your spouse or swinging with another couple. It encompasses all the senses as opposed to just the sense of touch. Making use of sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch will take any Lifestyle experience to new heights.
Talk to your partner beforehand and find out what makes them tick. I love to know ahead of time so that I can concentrate on those things when we're playing. I also strive to not wear a good thing out; there is definitely a balance in managing the sexuality and sensuality together.
Sensuality can involve talking to your partner while you’re pleasuring her from “down under”. It can involve a certain aroma that fills the room in which you are playing, or a particular song playing in the background. One of our favorites is exploring the extremes of the five senses. Ever tried caressing your playmate with an ice cube? It's incredible.
It can be a simple act, like running your fingertips up and down her body. There are millions of nerve endings in the human body, and stimulation of those just adds to the experience for her. There are erogenous zones all over the female body where the nerve endings are much more concentrated: behind the ears, behind the knees (try this one!), neck, inner thighs, and even the bottom of the feet. When you stimulate these areas you create a heightened sense of erotica that can drive your partner crazy with desire to fuck your brains out.
Which takes us right back to sexuality, doesn't it? The beauty of a pursuing sensuality is that it doesn’t matter whether you’ve already given your partner an orgasm, because they’ll be ready for more! Now, you can have your way with him or her and they will love every minute of it.
This comes from the pleaser in me. Pursuing a sensual approach has always worked for Mrs. Active, and it has worked for every woman that I’ve been with during our couples play. One tip I strongly encourage you to follow is to take time during your "get to know you" drinks to ask and answer questions about sensuality.
Some may not want to share the sensual side with other couples and that’s fine. But for us, it has been the jet fuel that makes play time unbelievably intense and our foursomes all that much better.