By "M" of "MandS"

We have been swingers for as long as I can remember. We started kicking the idea around before we even moved in together. "S" brought it up as a joke once and I was incredibly interested and receptive. So, as soon as we were married in 2000 we began our journey in the Lifestyle.

We continued to be active in the lifestyle for the next eight years. Sometimes incredibly active, meeting people often and going to local swinger clubs on a monthly basis. In early 2008 we had a heart to heart and decided that we wanted to have children. We made a conscious decision that we would leave the lifestyle completely, which meant leaving the core group of friends we had at the parties and the couple we had spent much of our free time with for over a year.

We were blessed to become pregnant quickly and had a beautiful baby, and I was completely content to be a mom and a monogamous wife. We continued in our vanilla ways for another four years before deciding to have another child, who was born in January 2014. By this point we were what I considered to be a normal married couple: we spent most of our time being parents and very little time being lovers. We were lucky to have sex three or four times a month.

As time passed, we would occasionally be getting ready to go out with friends and I would muse about how much fun it used to be to get ready for lifestyle dates and parties. But there was always something holding me back: my body image. I did not look the same as I did when we were previously in the lifestyle. I was heavier, had a c-section scar, and loose skin from having my children.

In July 2015 a former lifestyle friend sent me a friend request on a social media site. I was not sure what to do.

S said, “Accept his request and see what he wants”, so I did. We messaged back and forth a few times and within a few minutes and the inevitable question of “are you still in the lifestyle?” came up. I explained that we had been out of it for seven years but had been considering getting back in.

His response was “why not start with old friends?” A few hours later he was sitting by our pool with us drinking wine. We were pretty good friends before, so it was easy to pick right back up where we left off.

Conversation flowed and so did the wine. S finally gave me the signal that I needed to make a decision on whether or not I was ready to play.

I was so nervous.

Was I still going to enjoy it? Was he still going to find me attractive? Was my body good enough? Was my performance going to be as good as it once was?

After much internal deliberation I said, “Let’s go upstairs.”

Once we were in our bedroom things seemed to move seamlessly. Clothes came off, both of them were kissing me and touching me and that familiar excitement came rushing back as if no time at all had passed. All I could think about was the two men who were pleasing me and how amazing it all was. We continued for a while with the foreplay, touching, licking, and then followed that with sex. There was no awkwardness and no self-consciousness; just pleasure and freedom.

The following morning I woke up to the faint smell of unfamiliar cologne on my pillow, which immediately stirred feelings inside of me. I suddenly remembered why I loved the lifestyle: the freedom, the excitement, and the way it intensified our passion.

The following weeks were spent talking about how we were ready to return to the lifestyle, remembering our return experience, and having amazing, mind-blowing sex (and a lot of it, I might add!). Our sex life was better than it had been in years.

Over the past six months we have fully returned to the lifestyle. We have met several couples and singles. We have joined new sites and attended two local parties. I have embraced my body (even if it’s not the same as it once was), and we have even found new things we are interested in and are exploring.

Our marriage is as healthy and strong as ever, and we have re-discovered each other as lovers. I am so thankful we are back and we are enjoying every single minute of the Lifestyle we have come to know and love.

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