The Lifestyle for many people is all about finding the right people in the right circumstances with the right vibe and mutual attraction. For others, it’s about numbers and conquests. My husband and I are all about finding people we both find attractive and hitting it off without one of us having to “take one for the team.”

Now, you must keep in mind that when I drink, I don’t always pick up on signals and vibes. Sometimes I’m downright oblivious, which causes a great deal of frustration for the Mr.

I am unbelievably selective, and the planets must align perfectly with everyone holding mouths just right for us to play, which is not a bad thing, but can ultimately cause a good bit of angst in certain situations. The Mr. And I recently traveled to another city and met several couples we had never met before but had chatted with online.

First night, we danced and drank and got to know some people, but my level of intoxication and oblivion prevented playing in any form, vanilla or otherwise. I danced in a shadow box, and according to Mr. DD, we had quite a few couples interested and actively pursuing, but I was having too much fun (and too much “social lube”) to notice.

The second night, we had dinner and then met another couple for drinks. They were incredibly nice and enjoyed talking with them, but we just didn’t feel any chemistry, and once again the Mr. and I went home alone. Apparently, the Mr. and I weren’t communicating effectively which led to a meltdown for me and another night of frustration for both of us.

I was ready to throw in the towel and completely give up on the Lifestyle. I felt like no one we met clicked, or that one of us was having to settle, and I had given up on the dating scene years ago. I didn’t like it then, and I wasn’t about to endure it now.

The next morning, we had incredible makeup sex. He licked me until I thought I would burst and then fucked me until I did. Afterwards he picked up his phone and chatted with another couple we had chatted with online. We worked it out to meet another couple for breakfast, and we really hit it off. Because we had to check out of our hotel room and get to the airport by around one o’clock, we knew there would be no playing, but we had enough time to talk about preferences and parameters and experiences, and let me just say that by the time we got to the airport, I was so horny, I was ready to find the nearest family restroom and jump Mr. DD.

We had talked about girl play and squirting and fucking and package size, and oh my goodness, if we hadn’t had to leave, it would have been on like Donkey Kong.

Having been in the Lifestyle for about six and a half years and only doing full swap once, I have figured out that Mr. DD and I meet lots and lots of couples: ones we like and ones we don’t. But planets aligning and mouths poised perfectly rarely happens (and we are both perfectly fine with that as we really just like meeting open-minded people), but with patience and persistence, finding the right couple (and the occasional Unicorn) and situation does happen, and the experience is usually well worth the wait.

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