It seems as though the Lifestyle has been rapidly gaining popularity. We found our way into the Lifestyle quite by accident, after coming across a flyer for a New Year's Eve "sex party". Our intrigue led us to an online search and our eyes were opened. One week later we were attended our first party at a Private Couples Club. Shortly after that party, we joined Quiver.us and jumped into our journey.
We quickly learned that there is no rulebook or road map to follow, but good etiquette will go a long way. But what is good etiquette in the LS? Surely it's more than just asking, "May I bang your wife?"
It seems that most people begin their journey into the LS through online resources; either on a social media site, an LS site, or an app. The first step is creating a profile.
We personally find a close up genitalia shot as the main profile pic a turn off. A tasteful pic that is sexy and suggestive is ideal. It's fine to have sexual photos in your profile, in fact we love to see what we can expect if we decide to meet, but the main profile picture should be a good representation of who you are. In other words, don't post your glamour shot from high school when that boat sailed long ago.
Have a complete profile
We hate getting a message or a notification of interest from another member only to find no information on their profile page. It's not necessary to write a book, but at least provide some snapshot into who you are. Most people we meet in the LS aren’t just looking to hook up based on a photo. Of course, we want people we are attracted to, but we want to connect to on other levels.
It is very easy to get overwhelmed when you first start exploring the LS online. There are so many profiles out there with interesting people, you may be tempted to contact and friend everyone. But you want to avoid being the "kid in a candy shop.”
There's nothing wrong with friending as many people as you want. Friending can allow access to picture galleries, but at some point you can get overloaded. Profile names and real names can get confused, and some people can get upset if you can't remember who they are.
More importantly, you need to realize that there are people out there that join various LS groups and sites in order to snatch pics for their own folly or perhaps to catfish. You need to be aware of what you are putting out there for people to see, and what people are willing to show you.
One of our favorite features of Quiver.us is the verification process. It's just a simple picture submission to prove an actual person or couple but it does do a great job at weeding out the riffraff. We personally do not like to share pictures with anyone who is not verified. Our privacy is important to us, and we do not want to be put in a situation that can risk that.
There are so many profiles out there it's easy to get over excited and message everyone. It's pretty common for us to get a message saying, "Nice pics, want to meet?"
No, no we do not want to meet if all you're doing is looking at our pics and thinking that we are an easy target...
Before sending a message to anyone you should read the entire profile. Many people have something specific in their profile that they are looking for such as girl play only, or they may state that they don't want to be contacted by a single male.
There is nothing wrong with sending a message to clarify a point. In fact, if you address a specific point in a profile you may get a better response based on that alone.
It is extremely frustrating to send a message and never get a reply. You should make an effort to answer every message that you receive, even if there is no interest. It's just polite.
Sending a quiver, which is something less formal than a message, doesn't require a response in our opinion.