I used to love the Black Eyed Peas song “My Humps,” especially the lines that say, “Don’t want no drama, No no no no drama.” As a matter of fact, somehow I got that song stuck in my head a few days ago, and it prompted a memory of this couple that Mr. DD and I met several years ago. We’ve been in the lifestyle for almost six and a half years... so to speak. If you’ve read some of my other articles, you know that our “journey” (at the risk of sounding very cliché) in the lifestyle was prompted by lesbian porn, fueled by some unbelievably erotic strippers, and went full speed ahead when we found swingers’ clubs. Anyway, in those six and a half years, we have met tons of people literally all over the world, and 99.9% of those encounters are awesome, sexy, and sometimes a little crazy, and yes, sometimes pure vanilla.
Now, crazy can have several connotations ranging from “wildly passionate, passionately excited, and excellent” to “bizarre, totally unsound, and mentally deranged.” Personally, I prefer the former rather than the latter. But Mr. DD and I once encountered a couple who was a little bit of both.
It started online, of course. In my understanding, most of the time the men spend more time online managing the profile and looking at other profiles of different couples and searching for that elusive unicorn, but occasionally we women do find our way into a sexy chat or message conversation, usually with the man, sometimes with the woman. I found a couple online one day and found myself perusing their pictures, quite attracted to the female half of the profile. There weren’t many pictures of the male half, which always bothers me, but that’s another article. Suddenly I received a private message…still not sure if it was the male or the female half… and after several days of messages, she and I decided we would meet for a drink one weekend afternoon. Both of our profiles indicated that we were mostly girl play, but some soft swap as well, and the other lady and I wanted to see if we hit it off before we decided to have a play date.
I was already sitting at the bar of a restaurant when she walked in, and let me just say that this woman was a holy-shit-dropdown-gorgeous-luscious lady! I’m talking Penelope Cruz, Selma Hayek, Catherine Zeta Jones hot! We had several drinks and really hit it off, and it didn’t take long for us to figure out that we were also quite sexually attracted to one another. We took a couple of selfies and texted them to our hubbies, who urged us to set up a play date when they could “supervise.” We exchanged phone numbers and chatted throughout the week, finally deciding that we would try to get together at the park and/or on our boat on a lake just outside the city.
That weekend, Mr. DD and I were on our boat at a cove that frequently hosts some pretty crazy parties. Mr. and Mrs. Luscious found their way to the beach in this party cove, and we wound up on our boat, ultimately making our way to another secluded cove when the sun went down. The moon was out, shimmering on the water, and after a few drinks, Mrs. Luscious and I wound up naked on a towel on the boat, my white ass glowing in the moonlight. After a nice girl-play session and because it was our first play-date, we decided that would be the extent of our play that night. My husband said that we needed to schedule another play date because “that was the hottest shit I’ve ever seen, live porn or not.” Mr. DD and Mr. Luscious were both very enthusiastic supporters/supervisors, but we were taking things slowly. We got together several more times mostly for vanilla fun, including a couple of very vanilla days at the pool with kids and on our boat.
Now, according to their lifestyle profile and after several conversations with Mrs. Luscious, we understood that they both enjoyed flirting through private messages on social media and even text messages, and Mr. Luscious started texting and messaging me through social media. Mr. DD and Mrs. Luscious also texted/flirted back and forth, all four of us relishing and sharing the flirts with our respective spouses. But, with hectic schedules and school starting for kids, we did not have time for another play date. On several occasions, Mr. Luscious invited us to join him and the Mrs. when we couldn’t make it, and there were a few occasions when Mr. DD and I invited them out for dinner and/or drinks, and we received polite “No, thank you's” or “sorry, we cant's.”
Several months into the fall, Mr. Luscious told me that they were taking a break from the lifestyle, which is not entirely uncommon, so I thought nothing of it. However, the conversations and flirting didn’t really stop. I knew from spending several days with them that he was a very funny, often sarcastic man, always making jokes and laughing, and we love to laugh. In several text conversations (where it’s really difficult to determine sarcasm), he made little comments like, “she’s taking a break, but I’m not,” and then blowing it off as a joke. So far, no drama, right? Wrong!
Mr. DD and I finally figured out that Mr. and Mrs. Luscious were having marital issues. I began receiving angry or offended texts from Mrs. Luscious asking why we couldn’t get together with kids, and why we were pressuring them to get together for strictly playdates rather than vanilla activities. And Mr. DD and I were both very confused as we NEVER mandate play when we get together with another couple for dinner and/or drinks. Mr. Luscious had indicated that they wanted to have a play date, and she was saying the exact opposite. Their catastrophic vortex of drama was sucking us in. Ummm, how loud can I say NO!?! And when we finally figured out exactly what was happening, we immediately cut off communication. Mr. DD and I both hated to break off the friendship, but we do not do lifestyle drama. We have enough drama with teenagers in the house.
Unfortunately, we haven’t really talked to them much after that, which was a little disappointing considering how much fun that one lake play-date was, but Mr. DD and I enjoy the lifestyle much more when we can focus on the ins and outs of fun and the hot humps on the dancefloor than having to figure out the ins and outs of the drama.
Bottom line, like many of the articles here on Quiver indicate, is that being in the lifestyle must go hand in hand with open, honest communication, and when we have that, we have a great time!