People who enter the Lifestyle are generally pretty secure in their relationship with their significant other/spouse. If not, they’re in it for the wrong reason, but that’s a whole different topic. When we first entered the Lifestyle, we met people who played without their significant other, and I felt sorry for the partner who was left out until I realized that being secure enough with a partner to fly solo takes a relationship to a completely different altitude.
The first time I flew solo was, quite honestly, not a great experience. My husband was traveling (on the other side of the planet), and I had been chatting with a couple online that day. I got extremely ramped up and wanted to go out. Now, don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t going to sneak out and play behind his back. That type of behavior is of the vanilla variety. Instead I had a conversation with Mr., and despite his trepidation about the location of the club and me going out alone, I decided to go anyway. When we go to this club together, I usually drink quite a bit, and my courage tends to spike. Independently, however, I paced myself and drank relatively little for two reasons: A) I had to drive myself home, and B) my co-pilot wasn’t there in case of turbulence. An inebriated unicorn on the loose (albeit a temporary unicorn) tends to radiate unintentional signals to well-meaning but uninvited players.
The couple I had been chatting with that day was there, and we seemed to be hitting it off pretty well. I was texting my husband to let him know I was alive and well, and the other lady and I sent him a picture to tease him. I know, I know... that wasn’t the nicest thing to do since he was half-way around the world.
With midnight quickly approaching, the three of us decided to go to the back of the club into the “play area.” We found a spot in the open group room and I started to kiss and touch her. She and I were both pretty turned on, and her husband wanted to join in. Now, when I have my co-pilot there and I know he has my back, that is not an issue, but that night because of his long-distance consternation and my insecurity, red flags started to fly for me. I was not scared of him and did not feel as if I were in any danger, but because I did not have 100% partner approval, I couldn’t do it. I sat up, pulled a towel around my body, and explained to the couple my sudden change of heart, which they understood, and I went home alone.
About a year later, again while Mr. was traveling, this time to Texas, I had another opportunity to fly solo. The Mr. and I had been talking and texting with another couple, one we had played with several times together. We like this couple and get together with them every now and again, and when they proposed that I come play with them while he was in Texas (at a nearby hotel, not at the club), my Mr. popped wood. I was floored. I never thought he would get excited about me flying solo, but the idea of me being a unicorn for a night with people he knew and liked in a safe environment actually turned him on.
He took off on his flight to Texas, and I met the couple for dinner and drinks, and then off to the hotel we went. They knew I was nervous, but they were both great about understanding and making sure I was comfortable. We kissed and licked and sucked and fucked for hours on end. The other Mr. made sure to send my Mr. a few vividly entertaining pictures, and my flight was quite nice.
Since then, I have learned not to question people’s relationships when partners play independently, as it requires a truly strong relationship. Talking with my Mr. and realizing the communication and open honesty that it demands, I realize that flying solo requires a whole new level of love and trust. I appreciate the level of confidence my husband has in me. Likewise, I have absolutely no reservations about my husband’s devotion to me. Because of that mutual trust, we allow each other the freedom to fly solo.