A question that is pondered many times in the Lifestyle is whether or not a couple is more honest with one another as a result of the participation? I can tell you that in our marriage of almost 20 years that we now trust each other more than we ever have.

Having said that, it’s not as if we were both suspicious of extra martial affairs in the past, although we have had our struggles with temptation like many other married couples. Life gets busy, and if you’re not paying close attention to your relationship and doing the things needed to maintain a healthy relationship then there will be struggles.

Think about the Ashley Madison shake up. Why do you think there were so many men registered for the website looking for love or lust in the arms (or between the legs) of another woman? If I’m a betting man, my money is on a lack of time spent managing the relationship together. And I’m not just pointing the finger at the men or the women here. It’s a partnership: you’re in this together. You took vows. Why aren’t they working on it together?

In the swinger’s Lifestyle there is a key element, at least for Mrs. Active and myself: we’re in this together. It’s she and me, and no one else matters within the confines of our relationship in the lifestyle. When we made the agreement to give the Lifestyle a try, we made a few rules (just as most do). But we can talk more about those some other time.


What I’m saying is…..

All the jealousy, suspicion, or fears that you may harbor tend to melt away once you embrace an open sexual relationship. The beauty of the Lifestyle is that you can scratch that “itch” that many people try to scratch by registering for a website like Ashley Madison.

You have an agreement with your partner to have sex with other people on your agreed upon terms. If you get to have sex with other women, then why would a man want to cheat on his wife, or vice versa? In fact, it’s my humbly correct opinion that any man in the lifestyle who does cheat on his wife—or any woman who cheats on her husband for that matter—is in need of a frontal lobotomy (as opposed to a bottle in front of me) which is what I prefer.

But, I digress.


I recall a conversation that Mrs. Active and I had when we were debriefing our very first encounter at a Lifestyle resort in Cancun. We were actually at the airport discussing the fun time we had with the couple that we met on our last night after giving up hope that “it” would happen. I remember feeling very grateful that she would share me with another woman knowing that she has my heart and chooses to share the rest of me. I’ll never forget that moment. NEVER!!

Now does the Lifestyle make you more honest in every facet of your relationship? I can’t guarantee a resounding yes for everyone. There is little evidence to suggest that you’ll never lie to your spouse about the shoes you bought for yourself just this afternoon. And I can’t assure you that being involved in the Lifestyle will keep your man from lying about the round of golf he might be playing instead of mowing the lawn.

But I’m convinced that being properly plugged into the Lifestyle together will make both of you feel that same warm appreciation for one another that I felt that day in the Cancun airport. I know with Mrs. Active that I have a beautiful and very precious gem that I never want to be without. I truly can have my cake and eat it too.

And so can you, but it needs to be together. And then you too can have that same feeling that I experienced in Cancun and still experience to this day.

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